


Operation Fan Date

by InfinityUndone



Series: The chaotic lives of 1010 [3]
Category: No Straight Roads (Video Game)
Genre: Action, Awkward Dates, Gen, Humor, No Romance, despite what it sounds like there is no romance in this at all, no romance only chaos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27074461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfinityUndone/pseuds/InfinityUndone
Summary: 1010 decided to try something new. So they set up a raffle, with the winners getting a lunch date with one of the members. It sounded like the perfect idea, and what could possibly go wrong?A lot. A lot could go wrong.
Series: The chaotic lives of 1010 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939252
Comments: 43
Kudos: 146





	1. Begin Operation Fan Date

The official 1010 limo sped down the streets of the Metro Division, ignoring the excited gasps of fans when they recognized it.

The members of 1010 were sitting in the expansive back. Blue looked up to see Neon J pacing back and forth. “You can relax, J. We’ve been preparing for this for weeks now.”

“It’s not gonna be anymore taxing than our usual meet-and-greets, anyway.” Green added.

“Even so, this event represents a new step in 1010 history. It CANNOT be taken lightly!” Neon J stressed before resuming his pacing.

“C’mon J, hanging out with some of our fans for a couple hours is barely a four on the scale of hardest things we’ve done.” Yellow said. “Have some faith in us!”

Neon J sighed. “You are right… I should relax.” His head snapped up suddenly. “But you all need to be on your best behavior! There is a lot riding on this!”

“There really isn’t, it’s not being filmed anymore.” Blue pointed out.

“And when are we not on our best behavior? ...When we’re meeting fans, that is.” Red said.

“Hey, we’re here.” Green said as the limo pulled to a stop. “And the winners are waiting! ...I think?”

The event was being held at a small, but well-liked restaurant in the Metro Division. Neon J had arranged for the place to be closed off to the public so they wouldn’t be disturbed. The original plan had been for the whole thing to be filmed, but there had been some complications with that and they had to cancel the filming last minute. Which defeated a lot of the original purpose, but oh well.

Neon J and 1010 jumped out of the limo, and did their usual spiel of Neon J calling them to attention. It was only after that they got a good look at their “dates” for the day.

The five raffle winners were lined up on the sidewalk, waiting excitedly.

The first one was a tall, excited looking young man with bright blue skin and short, fluffy purple hair, decked out from head to toe in 1010 merch. He was grinning hysterically and audibly squealed when the boys stepped out of the limo.

The second one looked a lot calmer than the first. She was a young woman with dark blue skin and very short, yellow hair, and wearing a bright red beanie, a plaid flannel shirt, and jeans. She gave a slightly nervous smile.

The third lucky fan was another young woman, with almost blindingly bright yellow skin and hot pink hair tied back in a ponytail with yellow streaks in it. She wore a giant grin and plenty of 1010 merch. Unusually, all of the merch she was wearing was specifically Yellow’s, telling everyone exactly which member was her date.

The fourth fan was the most unusual, and everyone had to take a second look to make sure their eyes weren’t deceiving them. Unlike the first three fans, who all appeared to be in their late twenties at least, this one was probably in her eighties… at least. She looked like a complete stereotypical grandma, complete with snow-white hair, wrinkled gray skin, a cane, half-moon glasses… the works.

The fifth fan looked middle-aged, and had very light red skin and bright green hair that hung to her elbows. She was wearing a 1010 T-shirt over a pink dress, and black tights.

1010 immediately started sending mental messages to each other while Neon J did the introductions.

**Blue: Well, no prizes for guessing which one is Yellow’s date.**

**Yellow: How much cash did she spend on all that merch? Most of it was limited edition!**

**Red: Are you guys all ignoring the actual grandma that one of us has to go on a date with?**

**White: I had no idea we had fans that were that old.**

**Green: Guys, that’s our cue!**

Sure enough, it was, and the five fans were looking at them expectantly.

1010 immediately struck their signature poses.

“Hello, ladieeeees! ...And gentleman.” White said seductively. “Are you ready for the best lunch of your lives?:

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAH!” cheered the first and third fans with pure enthusiasm, while the other three just smiled and nodded.

“Well, then lets goooo!” sang 1010 in unison, earning more excitement from the fans.

White checked the name of his date. “I assume you’re Garry Jerjich?” he said to the first fan.

“YEP! That’s me!” Garry said before bursting into excited giggles. “I-I’m sorry, I’m just really excited, I never thought I would actually get to meet you guys in person, well, I already have, but never like, personally, and now I’m rambling, sorry, I talk a lot when I’m excited-”

White escorted him inside, and it was Yellow’s turn. Before he could even say anything, the girl wearing his merch practically screamed “I’M YOUR DATE! I’m your date! I’m Aisha Gasai!”

Slightly taken aback, Yellow said “Oh? Well it’s nice to meet you, Aisha!” and extended his hand.

Aisha grinned widely and shook his hand a little too hard.

Once the two of them had gone in, Blue stepped up. “Which of you is Hannah Luk?”

The woman with green hair and the dress stepped up. “That’s me.” she said in a high-pitched voice.

Blue led her in after his introduction, and Red went next. “Uhh, my date is Agatha Megat?”

The elderly woman raised her hand.

Red didn’t quite know how to handle this situation. Most of his fans were young people, and he could count the amount of people over the age of seventy he had ever interacted with on one hand.

“Well, uh, let’s go inside.” he said lamely, internally kicking himself for the awkward response.

“Oh, I can’t wait.” Agatha said in a gravelly voice.

That just left Green and the last fan. Green looked at her. “And, I guess you’re Deen Morro?”

“Yep.” said the girl. “I guess we’ll join the others?”

Green offered his arm to her and they headed inside.

Neon J waited a moment before following them in. The pieces were in place, all systems go… Operation Fan Date, while off to a clumsy start, was a go. Now to hope that all went according to plan...


	2. Fans and new friends

As the various couples settled into their seats, Red was feeling slightly awkward. He had prepared for an excited cute girl fan, not an eighty-year old woman. His bad-boy persona was a part of him, and had been for years now. But it felt way too weird to be using lines like that on someone old enough to be his grandma.

That, and old people freaked him out a little bit. For an android like him, all aging really meant was that your parts would eventually become obsolete. He didn’t have to physically change at all unless he wanted to (which he didn’t). Humans, on the other hand, would eventually have their hair turn white, and it looked like their skin would physically start coming off of their bodies (or something, Red was a little fuzzy on the exact details of how wrinkles worked).

“I brought you something.” Red snapped out of his reverie to see Agatha looking expectantly at him from across the table.

“Oh, did you?” Red said coolly, before feeling awkward again. He was used to acting abrasive as part of his role, but saying stuff like that to an old woman just felt kind of disrespectful.

Agatha reached into her purse, pulled out a plastic baggie of chocolate-chip cookies, and handed them over. “They’re freshly cooked!” she said cheerfully. “I made enough for you to share with the rest of the group.”

“Uh, thank you Ma’am.” Red was surprised at the gesture. He had gotten gifts from fans before, but never cookies. Of course, neither him nor any of his brothers could actually eat said cookies, but it was still a kind gift.

“Oh, think nothing of it, dear.” Agatha said with a smile.

There was silence for a few moments as she pored over the menu.

“Hmm, I think I’ll have the beef and mushroom stew.” she said. “How about you?”

“I’m not ordering anything.” Red answered.

“Oh? Why not?”

“Uh, well, the truth is…” Red felt bad for what he was about to say, but he didn’t think lying was an entirely viable option here. “I’m an android. I can’t eat anything.”

Agatha’s face fell. “Oh dear, and I gave you cookies... I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine, really!” Red said quickly. “I’ve never gotten cookies from a fan before. And besides, you had no way of knowing.”

Agatha still looked upset, so Red quickly changed the subject. “So, uh, you like our music?”

Her face brightened. “Oh yes! I know, I’m probably not what you were expecting for today…”

Red chuckled.

“But I just had to enter the contest when my granddaughters told me about it! They’re the ones who introduced me to your music, too. When I won, I was going to give my ticket to one of them, but they convinced me to go.”

“They sound nice.”

“I have a picture of them!” Agatha pulled out her phone and showed him a picture of three smiling teenage girls posing in front of a waterfall. “This was from our vacation last year. Oh, that reminds me, I promised them I would get an autograph or one of those selfies with you.”

Red thought for a second. “I’ll do you one better. Can I take a video with your phone?”

Agatha passed over the phone, and Red started the video.

“Hello, ladies.” he began by turning back on the bad-boy charm. “I’ve been hanging out with your grandma, she seems pretty cool.”

He turned the camera around to face Agatha, who waved at the camera. “Hi girls!”

“So, I’ve heard you’re fans of mine.” Red continued. “Well, since Agatha gave me a gift that I could share-” He held up the bag of cookies. “-I think it’s only fair that I give her a gift that she can share.” Turning the camera back to Agatha, he said “How’d you like four V.I.P. tickets to our next concert?”

Agatha’s face lit up. “That would be incredible!”

“In that case, I hope to see all four of you there.” Red winked at the camera. “1010, out!”

He stopped the video and handed the phone back to Agatha, who looked ecstatic. “V.I.P. tickets for all of us? You’re too generous!”

And so Red and Agatha hit it off.

* * *

Meanwhile, Green was sitting across from Deen Morro, who hadn’t said a word in the last couple minutes. Which was kind of awkward.

He decided to break the silence with “So, uh, what are you ordering?”

“Mm, I’m not sure. The burgers look great, but I haven’t had a good sub sandwich in a long time.” she said. “How about you?”

“I physically can’t eat anything.”

“Wait, what?” Deen looked up at him in surprise. “But then why set up a lunch date?”

“See, that's what I said!” Green exclaimed. “But Neon J said that more people would join the raffle if we offered food.”

“I mean, yeah, I get the logic, but wouldn’t it be super awkward to have someone just sitting across from you just watching you stuff your face?”

“I wouldn’t know, I can’t eat anything.” said Green, which earned him a chuckle from Deen.

“I’m not complaining, though.” she added. “I love the food here but it’s a bit too much for a broke student like me.”

There was another silence, but it was slightly less awkward than the first, until Green decided to break it again.

“You said you’re a student? What school?”

“The University of Vinyl City.”

Green blinked. “So am I! Well, technically, I take their online classes, but I don’t go there in person.”

“Seriously?” Deen asked excitedly. “What’s your major?”

“Robotics. You?”

“Marine biology. I didn’t expect you guys to be in uni. Do all of you take classes?”

“No, just me.”

Deen thought for a second. “But you’re a robot, right? I don’t know much about robots, but can’t you just download information and knowledge right into your head?”

“Yeah, but Neon J says that’s no substitute for old-fashioned learning. He was super happy when I asked if I could take classes.”

The waiter showed up then, and Deen ordered a sub sandwich and fries. Once the waiter had left, she turned back to Green and said “My roommates said they’d kick me out if I didn’t ask this, so is it true that you guys are going to add a sixth member to the group? Some rumor site said so and they’ve been arguing about it all week.”

“Oh, no. We don’t have plans to add anyone and we probably never will.” Green answered.

“Oh thank god, they’d never shut up about it if you were.”

“Roommates, huh? Are they also fans?”

“You could say that.” sighed Deen. “I’m the only one of us four who isn’t a diehard fan. All they ever discuss is 1010. When is the next album coming out, which of you is cutest, which one has the best hair-”

“I bet they never mention me in that last one.” joked Green. Deen snorted.

“I like your music too, but they never stop talking about it. They’re good roomies otherwise, but good god, does it get grating sometimes.” sighed Deen, before adding: “They joined the raffle too. One of them spent like fifty bucks on tickets to try to win a date with Blue. And another was convinced she could win a date with Neon J and straight-up cried when she found out she couldn’t.”

“How’d they take it when you won the raffle?” Green asked.

“Actually they were more happy for me than disappointed for themselves. They did make me promise to get a selfie or something, though.”

“Oh, well let’s do that now!” Green stood up.

“Um, alright.” Deen pulled out her phone and the two struck a pose. When Green went back to his seat, Deen was trying to keep her previous cool demeanor, but she couldn’t quite wipe the grin off her face.

* * *

And across the room, White was sitting in his chair and listening to Garry. Who had stopped talking exactly once, while the waiter was taking his order. And then picked up right where he left off. White couldn’t even get a word in edgewise.

“-And then Amal was like, _Garry, you’re not gonna get those tickets. The line’ll be so long tomorrow your only hope of getting one is if you wait outside all night._ And I was all like _Hey, that’s a good idea!_ So I got a sleeping bag and I borrowed my roommate’s tent, and I camped outside all night. I wasn’t alone either, a couple of people were already camped out when I got there, and there were way more when I woke up that morning. And then the store opened at 9, and I was fourth in line to get the tickets. And I did! It was totally worth it. I mean, I guess I could’ve just ordered them online, but my wifi’s pretty terrible so I didn’t trust it.” He then finally paused to take a sip of water.

Finally, White could speak. “After all that, what did you think of the concert?”

“Oh, it was AWESOME!” Garry gushed. “It was one of the best things I’ve ever seen! Your singing was perfect, your dancing was incredible…” And he was off again.

White just decided to let him talk. He seemed nice enough.

Unfortunately, not all the fans were so nice, as Blue and Yellow were finding out the hard way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of a fluffy chapter this time. But next chapter is when it really gets kicked up to eleven...


	3. Fans and old foes

Yellow sat at the table, trying desperately to think of something to say. Normally, that wasn’t too hard for him. But something about Aisha just made his words die before they could leave his mouth.

She had been staring at him since they sat down, with the same starstruck orange gaze and enormous grin. Yellow was used to that look from fans, but hers was so intense it made him squirm a little. In fact, he didn’t think he had seen her blink once, which was pretty creepy.

He was just about to make some lame comment about the weather when Aisha finally said something. “I can’t believe I get to meet you in person.”

Yellow jumped on that. “Well, it’s always nice to meet one of my fans.” he said with his most likeable smile.

“But I’m not just any fan.” Aisha said intensely. “I’m your _biggest_ fan.”

“I figured.” Yellow gestured to her clothes.

Aisha’s smile grew even wider. “I had to work so hard to get all of this! I got into a _huge_ bidding war on Ebay for the shirt.” She stretched it out so Yellow could see the design, and he recognized it as a limited edition that had been sold a couple years ago. “And the rest wasn’t much easier. But it was so worth it.”

Yellow was about to answer when Aisha leaned in closer. “You’re my _favorite_ member of 1010, you know. I only go to the concerts for you.” she whispered confidentially.

“I mean, I know I’m the best member of 1010,” Yellow said in a joking tone, “But the others are all great, too.”

“Not compared to _you_.” Aisha said, and the unnerving smile had been replaced with an even more unnerving look of complete seriousness. “You can sing circles around them. You’re better off without them. You should go _solo_.”

“I’m not doing that.” Yellow told her. “They’re my brothers, I’m not just gonna abandon them. And besides, I love being a part of the group. I don’t want to sing on my own.”

“Oh well.” Aisha said, and the huge smile and adoring expression was back a second later.

Okay. Yellow was becoming more and more freaked out by her. He couldn’t tell if she just had a really intense personality or if there was genuine crazy behind her orange eyes. There was something about her, too. She just looked so familiar, but he couldn’t remember where he had seen her before.

Playing it safe, he asked “So, what do you do for a living?”

“Who cares? I want to talk about _you!”_

Before he could reply, Aisha was leaning across the table again, a little too close for comfort. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Uhhh, no?” Yellow said.

“Do you want one?”

“Not… especially.”

Aisha sat back in her seat, looking frustrated. “Why not?”

Like the rest of 1010, Yellow had to answer frequent questions about his lovelife, or lack thereof, but none had ever, at least in person, phrased it so aggressively as Aisha.

“Well-”

“Are you gay?” Aisha interrupted.

“What?”

“Are you gay? Is that why you don’t want a girlfriend?”

“No, I just don’t want to date anyone right now!” Yellow said forcefully. “I want to focus on 1010 and our music.”

Aisha looked remarkably unsatisfied with that answer.

Yellow was getting serious red flags from her, and not helping was the overwhelming feeling that he had seen her before. He had to get her distracted while he figured this out. But with what?

“Can we talk about me more later? I want to hear a bit more about you.” he said, turning up the charm and adding a wink to seal the deal.

Bingo. Aisha started talking a mile a minute. Yellow nodded along politely while he racked his memory banks trying to figure out where he’d seen her before.

He hadn’t seen her at any of their concerts. A fan meet-n-greet? No, it hadn’t been anything related to their singing career. Maybe she worked somewhere and he had seen her there? No, that wasn’t it either. It had to be some unlikely situation-

And that was when it hit him. He remembered that terrifying moment of coming out of shutdown to realize his arms were being taken off, and staring right at the perpetrator. Dressed all in black, but with orange eyes, a rim of yellow skin visible through the holes in the ski mask, and the smallest tuft of pink hair poking out…

Yellow’s cooling fans whirred frantically, and it was only his years as a performer that kept him from getting a terrified expression on his face.

It was her. The lunatic who had once broken into the mansion, stolen his arms right off his body, and disappeared.

Aisha was still talking but all Yellow could think was " _Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. Why is she here? Does she want the rest of me? What’s her plan?"_

Yellow tried to calm himself down and forced himself to think. Surely his memory banks had some kind of advice from Neon J stored in them on how to deal with this situation.

 _“Now, remember troops! When you’re about to steal a car, make sure the car doesn’t have any bombs in it. It could be a trap planted there by enemy soldiers!”_ Yellow’s memory of Neon J said.

 _“Solid advice, but not what I’m looking for.”_ Yellow thought, trying to look casual and not like he was silently panicking. Aisha was still talking.

Another memory of Neon J surfaced. _“When you’re disarming a bomb, don’t cut the red wire. That’s the obvious one. Cut the green or yellow one instead. Nobody ever expects it to be those ones.”_

 _“Why was he even teaching us that?”_ Yellow wondered. _“C’mon, think!”_

One more Neon J memory showed up. _“I said I’d do it once, soldier, and you used it up. So no, I will not erase your memory of Avengers Endgame so you can watch it blind again.”_

 _“That one’s not even advice!”_ Yellow thought incredulously. _“Gah! Come on, stupid processor! There is a psycho sitting right in front of me and I don’t have time for this!”_

And then to his horror, he realized that Aisha had stopped talking and was staring at him expectantly.

“Uh, yeah, go on.” Yellow said, hoping she wouldn’t realize he hadn’t been paying attention.

“And then I saw you.” she said dramatically.

“Mmhm.” Yellow nodded.

“My life _changed_ , Yellow.” Aisha leaned across the table once again and took his hand in her own. “I realized that you were my reason for existing. Your singing made me feel so _alive_. I want to hear it all day, everyday, _forever_.”

Her nose was practically pressed against his now. “Forget about 1010. You’re _so_ much better than them. I can help you.” Her fingers tightened around his, locking them in an inescapable grasp. “Just come with me. I’ll never leave your side. I’ll _never_ betray you.” she whispered.

“Uh… I…” Yellow searched desperately for some way, any way, out of this situation.

And he did get one, because all hell broke loose at Blue’s table right at that moment.

* * *

At the same time Yellow was coming to the conclusion that Aisha was a complete lunatic, Blue was sitting and chatting with his date, Hannah.

“-And after all that, it turned out to be pointless, because we got stuck in traffic and didn’t beat him home. And he was angry.” Blue finished.

Hannah laughed, but it sounded rather fake. “Oh, that’s a funny story.” she said.

“... So, what do you do for a living?” Blue asked.

“I’d rather not talk about my personal life, if that’s alright.” Hannah said smoothly.

“Of course, my apologies.” Blue said, and there was silence for a few moments.

Blue was slightly suspicious of this woman. He could have sworn he’d seen her before. She had a rather distinctive appearance, with her long green hair, light red skin, and crooked nose. Despite meeting her “favorite singers” (her words) she barely seemed to care.

Maybe it was nothing, but Neon J had always told 1010 to trust their instincts. And Blue’s instincts were telling him there was something off about her.

“What are you ordering?” he asked casually.

“Nothing. I’m not hungry.”

“Well, I guess that gives us more time to talk!” Blue gave her his signature smile.

“Hmm.” Hannah returned it but it didn’t look genuine.

She could just be nervous, but that didn’t feel right to Blue.

“So, I’ve been wondering about something lately.” Hannah said.

“Oh?”

“You and the rest of the group are robots, correct? What all can you do?”

“What exactly do you mean?”

“I’m a professor of robotics at the University of Vinyl City, and I’ve always wanted to know more about the five of you. What are you capable of?”

She sounded reasonable enough, but Blue suspicions weren’t eased. Before he answered, he used his systems to do a search on the U of VC’s professors. And lo and behold, there was no Hannah Luk in their ranks.

That was weird. Who was this woman? The only explanation Blue could think of was some rival roboticist of Neon J. So he decided to lie really hard.

“Well, Neon J built us a few years ago.” he began. “We were originally programmed to just be service bots, but then he got the idea to turn us into a band.”

Hannah leaned down and was rummaging through her purse. “Go on.” she said.

“It took awhile, but then he-” and Blue stopped in shock as Hannah sat up.

“Is something the matter?” she asked.

Her long green hair had shifted when she had leaned over, revealing it as a wig. But what stopped Blue in his tracks was what was underneath: a telltale patch of red hair was showing.

And that made Blue remember where he had seen Hannah before: when Tatiana had been briefing the artists after the satellite's destruction and had shown them a picture of the one who did it. A middle-aged man with glasses, red hair, light reddish skin, and a freshly-broken nose…

Blue stood up and yelled loudly “ _YOU!_ YOU’RE THAT GUY WHO TRIED TO DROP THE SATELLITE ON THE CITY!”, attracting the attention of everyone else in the cafe.

Hannah-no, Kliff, stared at him in shock for a moment before swinging the small, drill-like device he had grabbed out of his purse right at Blue. It caught him in the neck, latched on, and before Blue could rip it off, had drilled in.

And the last thing Blue thought before blacking out as system warnings flooded his vision was “ _Oh shit_.”


	4. Hacked up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry I left you guys on a cliffhanger like that for so long. It's been a busy week.

To Neon J, the event had been going just fine. The dates all looked like they were having a good time, the boys seemed to be enjoying themselves, and all seemed to be well.

He had obviously been wrong about that, because almost immediately after he had that thought, Blue got stabbed in the neck by his date.

Neon J was halfway across the room before Blue even hit the floor. The other members of 1010 were jumping out of their seats, while their dates sat where they were in shock.

Blue’s date pulled a gun out of their purse and yelled “NOBODY MOVE!”

Everyone stopped in their tracks.

“You…” Neon J hissed. He recognized this man, despite his shaved beard, lack of glasses, and green wig. “You’re Kliff. Tatiana warned us about you.”

“That’s right.” Kliff replied, pulling off his lopsided wig and revealing his bushy red hair. “I’d advise you all to stay where you are.”

“What did you do to Blue?!” demanded Neon J.

“Oh, so they have names now?” mocked Kliff. “Don’t worry, he’s step one in my plan.”

Neon J was about to ask what that meant, when Blue stirred.

“Blue! Can you hear me?” Neon J asked frantically.

Slowly, Blue picked himself off the ground, and swiveled his head around to face everyone. His sunglasses had fallen off, showing that his eyes had gone from their usual blue color to a glowing red, and his expression was completely blank.

Neon J felt his blood turn to ice. He tried to contact Blue, but nothing he did was affecting him. Blue was completely cut off from him.

“You tasteless fools will pay for ruining my plans.” Kliff snarled. “TAKE THEM OUT!”

Blue snapped up and without any warning, punched Neon J in the stomach, causing him to double over in pain.

“JACKASS!” snapped Red, and he jumped at Blue.

And chaos broke out, with Red and White trying to fight their brainwashed brother and Kliff, Green dragging Neon J away, and the fans all trying to hide.

Yellow tried to get up, but Aisha had an extremely tight grip on his hand. “Let me go! I have to help!” he exclaimed.

“You’re _not_ leaving me.” Aisha hissed, trying to yank him back down.

Yellow twisted out of her grip and ran towards the fight unfolding across the room, but before he could get there, something wrapped around his ankle and pulled his feet from under him.

“Oof!” Yellow grunted as he hit the floor. Looking behind him, he saw Aisha walking up to him, holding a lasso.

“Didn’t you hear me?” she asked ominously. “You’re _not_ leaving me. _Ever_.”

In that moment, Yellow realized that Kliff might be the least of his problems.

* * *

“Blue! Wake up!” White yelled at his brother as he dodged his punches. Blue didn’t answer.

“Come on, bro! Fight it!” Red exclaimed as he tried to wrestle Blue to the floor.

Across the room, Neon J, Green, the fans, and the staff were all hiding behind the counter.

“Dad, can you do anything?” Green asked.

“No. I’ve tried. I can’t reach him at all. Whatever Kliff did, it cut him off from the rest of us.”

A loud scream caused them all to jump and peer over the counter. It hadn’t come from any of the combatants….

The source was quickly revealed to be Yellow, who was hogtied with a rope and getting dragged off towards the exit by Aisha. “HELP ME HELP ME SHE’S KIDNAPPING ME!” he screamed frantically.

“Oh for fucks sake.” muttered Neon J.

“I’ll go help him!” Green said quickly, and he stood up.

“No! Go try to get that gun away from Kliff. I’ll save Yellow.” Neon J ordered.

“Actually, why don’t I help Yellow?” Deen asked. “I can fight.”

If she did that, it would leave Neon J free to try and save Blue. And while having fans getting the tar beaten out of them at an event was bad publicity, the event was beyond saving anyway.

“Alright, go!” Neon J told her. Deen vaulted over the countertop and ran off, and Green did the same and went to take on Kliff.

“Wait for me!” Agatha called, and she ran out from behind the counter and went after Deen.

“Ah crap, I might as well go too.” Garry sighed, and he sprinted after them.

Neon J sat there for a moment before snapping out of it. _“An eighty-year old and two kids are fighting your battles for you. Get up and save your sons, you idiot!”_ he mentally ordered himself.

He stood up and strode out from behind the counter, ready to fight.

* * *

Yellow was not having a good time. He was tied up and being kidnapped, and nobody noticed because Blue had gotten hacked and was trying to fight everyone.

Honestly, Yellow missed the evil raccoons.

As he was lamenting his plight, a giant purse came flying across the room and hit Aisha in the head.

“OW! SHIT!” she yowled, and whirled around to see Deen, Agatha, and Garry approaching.

“ _Oh thank god, someone’s here to save me_.” Yellow thought.

“Put the rope down, uhh… you!” Deen called.

“Her name’s Aisha.” Garry whispered to her.

“Right. Aisha! Put down the rope and let Yellow go!”

“ _Never!_ ” Aisha’s previous expression of triumph had been replaced with one of pure rage. “You can’t have him! He’s _mine!_ You’re just jealous that _I’ve_ got him!”

“Dude, just put him down and we can talk about this.” Garry said carefully.

“NO! _HE’S MINE!_ DO YOU HEAR ME?! _MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!_ ” And with that statement, Aisha sprung at the three with a painfully loud shriek, dragging poor Yellow along for the ride.

Agatha swung her cane to meet her, and landed a direct blow to the temple, knocking Aisha to the ground. She came up swinging, however, and Deen moved in to block the blow.

“Here! I’ll free you!” Garry said, and grabbed a butter knife off a nearby table to cut Yellow free.

“Thanks, dude.” Yellow gasped. “Uh, there’s also a steak knife on that table that’d probably work better.”

“Oh, yeah.”

While Garry freed Yellow, Agatha and Deen were grappling with Aisha, who was not pleased about having her plan foiled.

“HOW _DARE_ YOU TRY TO GET BETWEEN US!” she screamed wildly. “WE’RE MEANT TO BE!”

“You tried kidnapping him, you fucking nutcase!” Deen exclaimed as she dodged Aisha’s roundhouse kick.

“IT’S LOVE, BITCH! I _LOVE_ HIM!” Aisha tried to grab Deen with a stranglehold, but Agatha flipped her to the floor.

“Young lady, that’s not love, that’s an obsession.” Agatha said sternly.

“YOU DON’T KNOW _ANYTHING_! HE’S MY SOULMATE!” Aisha jumped to her feet and tried to punch out Agatha, but the elderly woman blocked it with her cane.

“HE’S GONNA BECOME THE _BIGGEST_ STAR IN THE WORLD THANKS TO ME! I’LL MAKE _EVERYONE_ GIVE HIM THE RECOGNITION HE DESERVES! _I WON’T LET ANYONE STOP ME!_ ”

“HEY, AISHA!”

Aisha turned in surprise to see Yellow standing up and shedding the cut rope. He smiled at her. “Come here.”

A huge smile came to Aisha’s face, and she ran straight into his open arms, staring happily up at him. He held her, looked deep into her eyes…

And tazed her.

“Urgrgrgrgk!” Aisha fell to the floor twitching violently.

“I need to stop forgetting I have a taser-finger.” muttered Yellow.

He looked at Agatha, Deen, and Garry, all of whom were staring at Aisha’s mildly electrified form. “Thank you for saving me! Would you mind tying her up? I’ve gotta go help the others.”

And with that, he ran to try to save Blue.

* * *

At the same time as Yellow was getting rescued from Aisha, everyone else was trying to stop Kliff and the brainwashed Blue, who had just sent a brutal kick to Red’s left knee joint and bashed it in, sending him to the ground while he writhed in pain..

Red tried to crawl away and recover, but his path was blocked by a pair of tights-wearing legs. Looking up, Red saw Kliff smirking down at him.

“Are you ready to become a part of my musical revolution?” he asked.

“I thought you just wanted revenge for the satellite thing.” Red groaned.

“I want both.” Kliff raised the small drill-like device in his hand, and Red cringed in anticipation.

“Stop!” Green yelled as he tackled Kliff, trying to wrench both the device and the gun out of his hands. He managed to get him to drop the device, but Kliff responded by pistol-whipping Green and then pointing the gun right at him.

 _“NO!”_ Kliff turned just in time to see Neon J charging straight at him…

And he had just enough time to think that maybe his plan wasn’t the best one before Neon J’s metal fist slammed right into his face.

Such was the force of the blow that the shockwaves reverberated throughout the room. Everyone felt its power. It sent Kliff flying into a wall, and he slowly slid down it and crumpled to the floor.

Neon J pounced on the gun and quickly emptied it.

“Uggggh…” Kliff spat out something bloody. He stared at it in shock, before glaring at Neon J. “My tooth! You knocked out my tooth!” he said though his bloody, swelling lips.

“Consider yourself lucky that’s the only thing I knocked out.” Neon J growled, wiping the blood and lipstick off his knuckles.

“Dad, look what he had!” Green held up the device. “He stabbed Blue with this, and it drilled in…”

Neon J cast a look over at Blue, who White was holding off with a chair. There was something on his neck...

“Troops!” Neon J ordered. “I think that device is inside of that hole in his neck! We need to get it out! Hold him down!”

“No, NO!” Kliff yelled at Blue. “GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

Blue turned his attention from White, and began striding towards Kliff.

“Nope, you’re not doing that!” Yellow called as he came running across the room, freed from his own attacker, and he slammed Blue to the floor. Blue tried to fight him off.

The others got to them, and managed to restrain Blue, who was fighting madly.

“Geez dude, we’re trying to help you!” muttered Red.

“Hold… his… arm!” White grunted.

“Green, commence extraction!” Neon J ordered.

Two of Green’s fingers turned into tweezers, and he reached into the hole. Blue thrashed around even harder.

“I think I got it.” said Green.

Blue managed to kick Neon J in the face, causing him to let go, and began to throw everyone else off.

“Ah, screw it!” exclaimed Green, and he ripped the device, along with several wires, out of Blue’s neck.

Blue screamed in pain and immediately after turned off, the red light in his eyes fading to black.

Everyone sat back in relief.

“Oh, thank god, it’s over.” groaned White.

Green looked at the severed wires sparking in his hand. “I probably shouldn’t have pulled these out.”

“It doesn’t matter.” said Neon J. “The important thing is, we stopped him-”

“HEY!” Garry yelled. “THAT GUY’S ESCAPING!”

Kliff sprinted across the room, towards the door. He was mere feet away from escape, when someone stood in his way.

Agatha jumped in front of him, brought back her cane, and slammed it into Kliff’s knees. He opened his swollen mouth in a silent scream, before it turned into a loud, long shriek of pain as he fell down holding his legs.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! OWWWWWWWW!” he wailed.

“Thank you, ma’am.” Neon J said as he walked up to restrain Kliff until the police came.

“You’re welcome, dear. Think of it as payment for the best fight I’ve had since I was twenty.” she said sweetly.

1010 could only stare at her with reverence as police sirens sounded outside.


	5. Mission failed successfully

Not long later, everyone was milling around on the sidewalk outside the cafe, giving statements to the police.

“Aisha Gasai, you’re under arrest for breaking and entering, theft, and attempted kidnapping.” one of the cops said.

“So, she really is the one that stole your arms?” White asked Yellow.

“Yep. And she tried to get the rest of me today.” Yellow answered.

As the police led Aisha to their car, she glared at Yellow. “I wanted to help you become a _star!_ Why don’t you love me?” she demanded.

“Because you ripped my arms off and tried to kidnap me!” Yellow exclaimed incredulously.

“I _love_ you, Yellow! Why can’t you see that?! I’ll _make_ you see! One day!”

And with that, she disappeared into the back of the car and was driven off.

“...Hoo boy.” muttered Red. “There’s a lot to unpack there.”

“Yeah. We should get in contact with the lawyers. I don’t trust she’ll stay in jail.” said Yellow.

Kliff was being escorted out of the cafe in handcuffs, and he started yelling when he saw everyone else. “This isn’t over! I’ll bring rock back to Vinyl City, and you buckets of bolts will be recycled for scrap metal!”

“Yeah, you’re going away for a long time, buddy.” one of the cops said.

“You’ll be hearing from my lawyers! I’ll sue you for my dental bills!” Kliff shouted through his swollen lips as he was put in the police car. He continued throwing threats and insults at them, but they couldn’t hear him through the car’s window.

As the car drove away, taking Kliff with it, White, Red and Yellow turned their attention to Blue, who was lying on the sidewalk with Neon J and Green working on bringing him back online.

“How is he?” White asked.

“He’s heavily damaged, but I won’t know the extent of it until he wakes up… There we go!” Neon J finally managed to turn Blue back on, and he jolted to life, blinking up at them in confusion.

“Blue, can you hear me?” Neon J asked.

“Yeah…” groaned Blue.

“How do you feel?”

“...Like I got hit by a semi-truck filled with bricks and concrete.”

 _“If he’s being overly specific about things, he’s obviously going to be okay.”_ thought Neon J with relief. Green and Yellow helped Blue sit up.

“What happened? Where’s… Dad! That guy, he’s the one who-”

“Tried to destroy the city, we know. He revealed himself after he hacked you.”

“That’s what he did? Hacked me?” Blue looked disgusted. “Gross.”

“With this.” Green added, holding up the drill-like device. “He had four more like it, so it’s not hard to guess what exactly he was up to.”

“Hold onto that, soldier, I want to look at it later.” Neon J ordered. “Blue, what is your system report?”

“Systems are at fifty-five percent, and decreasing. My processor seems undamaged. But I can’t move my legs. At all.”

“Sorry, that was probably me.” Green said apologetically. “I ripped out some wires by accident when I was freeing you.”

“Oh yeah, here’s your sunglasses!” Yellow passed the twisted, broken glasses to Blue. “I think they got stepped on.”

“Dammit. I really liked that pair.” Blue grumbled.

Neon J straightened up. “Right troops, listen up! Yellow, take Blue back to the limo. Blue, I want you to go into shutdown to avoid any further damage until I can fix you. The rest of you, say goodbye to the fans. I need to go talk to the restaurant staff.”

“Sir yes sir!” 1010 chorused, albeit not with their usual energy.

Yellow scooped Blue up in a bridal carry. Before heading to the limo, he waved at Agatha, Deen, and Garry, who were all sitting on a bench a few feet away.

“Bye everyone! Thanks for coming, we hope you had a great time! And thanks for saving me from that lunatic!” Yellow called to them. Blue just gave them a weak wave and a smile.

As Yellow carried him back to the limo, Blue asked quietly “...Did I uh, attack any of them while I was…”

“No, no.” Yellow reassured him. “You bashed Red’s knee in and punched J in the gut, but you didn’t seriously hurt anyone.”

Blue didn’t look too much happier with that bit of news. A moment later, he wondered “Hey, where’d your date go?”

“I’ll tell you later, buddy. It’s a long story.”

* * *

In the meantime, Red, Green, and White had all approached their dates to say goodbye.

“Thanks for coming, I hope you had a good time. And I’m sorry it got cut short.” White said to Garry as they shook hands.

“Oh, no worries. It was worth it just to meet you guys.” Garry beamed. “I did have a good time!”

And with that, Garry skipped off happily, with White watching him go.

“I’m really sorry for how all this turned out.” Green said to Deen.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. And for what it’s worth, I enjoyed myself.”

“Yeah, but having one of your brothers get hacked by a madman and another one almost get kidnapped tends to ruin your fan date.”

“Okay, that’s a good point.” Deen paused, and added “But maybe we could hang out some other time?”

Green barely hid his surprise. “Wait, really?”

“I mean, if that’s alright. I feel like we really hit it off.”

She wanted to be his friend? Outside of his family, Green didn’t really have any actual friends. Was that really it? What if she had ulterior motives?

And yet, Green also felt like they’d hit it off. And she seemed genuine, not like she just wanted his fame and fortune. If Neon J said it was okay…

“Yeah, I’d love to hang out with you.” Green answered. “Uh, can I have your phone number?”

“Sure.” Deen scribbled it down on a sticky note she had in her bag and gave it to Green.

“Well, I guess we’ll talk sometime. Have a good day.” Deen said with a grin.

“You too!” Green waved at her as she walked off.

“Did she just give you her phone number?” White asked in disbelief, having seen the last part of the interaction.

“Yep.” Green looked at the sticky note.

“Aww, I think you’ve got a girlfrieeeeeend…” White teased.

“Not a girlfriend. Just a regular friend.” Green smiled.

And in the meantime, Red and Agatha were saying their goodbyes.

“Thanks for saving Yellow. And for stopping Kliff.” Red said.

“You’re quite welcome, dear. That was one of the best fights I’ve been in since I was twenty.” she said cheerfully.

Red wondered just what kind of action she had seen in her life. Then, an idea came to him.

“Remember how I was going to send you and your granddaughters V.I.P. tickets to our next concert? Well, considering how much you did today, I think that’s worth an upgrade. Expect some season’s V.I.P. passes in the mail next week.”

Agatha gasped with delight. “Oh, thank you so much! You’re too kind!”

“You fought off a crazy fangirl who was trying to kidnap my brother and kneecapped the guy who hacked my other brother. You earned this!” Red told her.

Agatha giggled excitedly. “The girls will be so excited! Thank you again!”

Red watched her leave, over the moon with excitement, and headed back to the limo, thinking about how it had been a pretty good day if he ignored the whole crazy hacker thing.

He got back into the limo and sank into the seat, relieved to give his broken knee joints a rest. Poor, battered Blue was passed out in shutdown next to him. The other three were sitting across from them, looking exhausted.

Not long later, they were joined by Neon J, who looked extremely put out. He flopped down on the seat next to Red, muttering about how Tatiana would have his hide.

As the limo pulled away from the curb, Neon J sighed. “Well, troops, I’d call this mission a complete bust.”

“I wouldn’t.” Green said. “I made a friend.”

“And I think I have a grandma now.” Red said.

“And,” threw in White, “it went really poorly, sure. But we caught a known criminal, and stopped a crazy fangirl. So we did accomplish something, even if it wasn’t what we set out to do. _And,_ all of the not-crazy fans said they had a great time. So I wouldn’t call it a complete failure.”

“That’s true.” mused Neon J. “But the fact still remains that Kliff and Aisha shouldn’t have even gotten that far. I should have done background checks and searched them before entry...”

He stood up. “Troops, we have gotten lazy and complacent! We need to be more vigilant! We need to focus more on security, to ensure nothing like this ever happens again! Once we get back, I’m redoing your systems so that no hacker can do anything to any of you!”

“Really?” groaned Yellow. System reworkings were always unpleasant experiences.

“Yes, really! What if we hadn’t freed Blue? What if Kliff had hacked the rest of you? I will personally make sure nobody can do anything like that again. _Ever._ ”

Well, that would take up a couple weeks, probably. Red leaned back in his seat and felt something in his pocket. Pulling it out, he found the bag of cookies Agatha had given him. They were crushed and crumbled from the fighting, but they still looked appetizing.

Yes, this day had been rough, but to call it a total failure was incorrect. It was more of a successful failure.


End file.
